Here’s something nobody likes to admit. Most product titles sound like a fridge magnet poetry experiment gone wrong. You know what I’m talking about. “Premium Adjustable Ergonomic Ultra Comfort Multi-Use Home Office Chair.” That’s not a product title, that’s a cry for help.
And the worst part? Sellers think that stuffing more words in there makes it “better for SEO.” No, it doesn’t. It makes you look like a confused parrot who swallowed a thesaurus.
Product titles aren’t supposed to sound professional. They’re supposed to sound human. They’re supposed to make somebody stop scrolling and think, “Yeah, that’s what I was looking for.”
You’re Trying to Impress Robots, Not People
Somewhere along the way, sellers decided they were writing titles for machines instead of humans. So now we’ve got entire marketplaces full of nonsense like “High-Quality Adjustable Multifunctional Folding Portable Lightweight Travel Chair.”
You think you’re feeding the algorithm, but you’re choking the customer. Nobody searches for that. People type “camping chair.” Or “folding chair.” That’s it. Short, direct, normal.
Google doesn’t need your life story. It’s smarter than it used to be. It knows what words mean and who’s clicking on what. If your title makes sense to people, the algorithm will figure it out. But if it looks like it was written by a committee of terrified marketers, it’s dead on arrival.
Nobody Buys from a Robot
When a title feels cold or technical, customers bounce. You know why? Because nobody wants to buy from someone who sounds like they’ve never touched the thing they’re selling.
Think of your product titles as introductions. “Hi, I’m a set of bamboo cutting boards with a juice groove.” Perfect. Straightforward. “Hello, I’m an Eco-Conscious Sustainable Kitchen Surface Solution.” Nope. That’s not a cutting board. That’s a résumé.
If you can’t read your title out loud without cringing, rewrite it. Say what it is, who it’s for, and what makes it useful. That’s it. Leave the marketing jargon to people who get paid to write slogans for toothpaste.
Your Brand Name Isn’t the Star
Unless your name’s Nike or KitchenAid, nobody’s searching for it. Putting your brand at the start of every title is like starting every sentence with “As a thought leader.” Nobody cares.
Lead with the product. Then the brand. “Cast Iron Skillet – Rockford Cookware.” That works. It tells people exactly what they’re getting and then who made it. Reversing it is like walking into a party, yelling your own name, and then trying to sell people cookware.
You’re Shouting at People
There’s a special place in ecommerce purgatory for titles written in all caps. “LIMITED TIME DEAL! FREE SHIPPING!” Calm down. You sound like an infomercial with caffeine poisoning.
All caps doesn’t make something stand out. It makes people distrust it. You don’t want customers thinking, “This looks scammy.” You want them thinking, “This looks good.” Use proper case. Speak like a normal person. Save the excitement for your bank statement.
Your Titles Are Too Long, Too Complicated, and Too Desperate
If you have to scroll to finish reading your own title, you’ve lost the plot. You’re not trying to write a novel. You’re trying to get a click. Long titles get cut off in search results, and half-titles look lazy.
Here’s an easy rule. If you can’t explain it in one breath, it’s too long. If you sound like you’re pitching it to a boardroom, it’s too fake.
Five Things You Can Do Right Now
First, read five of your product titles out loud. If you need water halfway through, they’re too long. Rewrite them like you’re talking to a friend, not presenting at a conference.
Second, move your brand name to the end. You’re not a household name yet, and that’s fine. Let the product do the talking. The brand can tag along quietly.
Third, rewrite one title today using normal, conversational language. Drop the fancy words. Say exactly what the thing is, nothing more. You’ll be shocked how much cleaner it looks.
Fourth, check your search result preview. If your title gets cut off, shorten it. You want the whole thing visible, not a chopped-off mystery sentence that ends in “with adjus…”
Fifth, stop trying to trick Google. You can’t outsmart the machine. But you can talk like a human, and that’s what Google actually wants. Clarity gets clicks. Clicks get ranking.
Product titles don’t sell products, they sell trust. A clean, simple title says, “This seller knows what they’re doing.” A sloppy one says, “This seller’s guessing.” And customers can tell the difference.
So stop writing titles like a corporate committee and start writing them like a real person who actually uses the stuff they sell. You’ll make more sense, you’ll make more sales, and you’ll finally stop scaring people away with “Premium Adjustable Multi-Functional Ultra Solutions.” Nobody needs that. Nobody ever did.
FREE – get my 
