Every time Google rolls out a new update, the so-called “SEO experts” start running around like their hair’s on fire and their backsides are catchin’. Suddenly, everything’s changing, the sky’s falling, and if you don’t buy their overpriced software or services right this second, your website’s gonna be buried so deep in search results that not even you can find it.
Um, no. That’s not how this works.
Google’s been rolling out Core Updates every couple of months since 2011, which means we’ve already had about 60 of ’em. That’s right, 60. Google’s basically always in the middle of an update. And last time I checked, the internet’s still here, people are still Googling things, and no, cats and dogs aren’t meeting up for happy hour.
The SEO Industry’s Biggest Scam
But here’s the real scam. These “SEO experts” are just like drug dealers. They make you panic about every tiny algorithm shift so you’ll stay hooked on their tools, their services, and their nonsense. And the worst part? They’re the ones creatin’ the panic in the first place. It’s like someone setting your house on fire and then charging you to put it out. And the biggest SEO tool they’re pushing costs anywhere from $250 to $500 a month. Let that sink in. They’re literally selling guesses, packaged as facts, for the price of a car payment.
Go ahead, read their so-called “analysis.” It’s full of phrases like “may lead to,” “it seems that,” “it’s possible that,” and my personal favorite, “it appears that.” Translation? They don’t know. They’re making it up. They’re guessing. And they’re charging you hundreds of dollars a month to guess at things you could figure out for free.
The Free SEO Tool Nobody Talks About
And yeah, let’s talk about that free option. There’s an actual, completely accurate, no-BS SEO tool that makes all these paid ones look like a joke. And guess who provides it? Google. That’s right. The same company these SEO gurus claim to have cracked the code on. Google literally hands you the tools to understand your site’s performance, for free. And not only that, they give you free video training to teach you how to use it. But of course, the SEO crowd doesn’t want you to know that because if you did, they’d be outta business.
This has been around since 2005. It started as Google Sitemaps, then became Webmaster Tools, and now it’s called Google Search Central. It’s been sitting there this whole time, making SEO scammers look ridiculous. Google even tells you exactly what to do to rank well. They’re not some evil goblin trying to destroy your website. They want your content to be good because when people find good content, they keep using Google. It’s literally in their best interest to help you succeed.
The SEO Checklist Google Gives You for Free
And if that’s not enough, Google even gives you a checklist. A simple, direct, no-nonsense list of what to do and what not to do. And guess what? It’s all stuff that makes sense. Like, do real people write your content for real people, or are you outsourcing it to AI and hoping for the best? Are you actually adding unique value, or are you just throwing together the same surface-level garbage as everybody else? Are you writing about things you actually know, or are you pumping out whatever random content you think will get clicks?
The Bottom Line
If you’re wasting money on SEO “experts” and their ridiculous tools, stop. Just stop. Google’s Core Updates aren’t out to get you. They’re just making search results better. If you’re running your business the right way, actually learning how to create great content, and using Google’s free tools, you’ve got nothing to worry about. But if you’re relying on overpriced SEO gimmicks and keyword-stuffing nonsense, well, yeah, then you should probably be worried.
So here’s your to-do list. Quit freaking out over Google updates. Stop paying for nonsense. Start using the free tools Google gives you. And most importantly, run your business like a business owner, not like someone looking for shortcuts. Google isn’t the problem. The problem’s the people trying to sell you fake solutions.
Here Are Five Things You Can Do to Stop Wasting Time on Fake SEO
First, cancel any overpriced SEO software subscriptions you’ve been guilted into buying.
If you’re dropping hundreds of dollars a month on a tool that spits out vague, maybe-possibly-could-be guesses about your website, cut it off. You do not need to pay that much for something Google gives you for free. Go into your account, hit cancel, and enjoy the feeling of not setting money on fire.
Second, log into Google Search Central and actually use it.
It’s free, it’s accurate, and it’s literally made by the people who control search rankings. Stop acting like it’s some secret government database. Go in, check your site performance, and learn how to read the reports. Google even gives you free training videos, so you’ve got no excuse.
Third, audit your content like a real person, not a robot.
Read your website like someone who’s never seen it before. Does it actually make sense? Is it helpful? Or did you just cram it with keywords because some SEO “expert” told you to? If it sounds like a chatbot wrote it, fix it. Google rewards good content, not weird, keyword-stuffed nonsense.
Fourth, delete anything that sounds like clickbait garbage.
If your blog titles look like “This One Weird Trick Will Explode Your Traffic Overnight,” you need to stop. Nobody likes clickbait. Google hates it. Your audience rolls their eyes at it. Make your content useful, not desperate.
Fifth, stop panicking every time there’s a Google update.
Unless you’re running some shady, spam-filled website, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Google updates don’t destroy good websites. They just filter out garbage. So instead of freaking out and throwing money at SEO “gurus,” focus on making your site better.
There you go. Five things you can do right now to stop wasting time and money on SEO scams. No excuses.
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